Let's Talk About A Parents' Role in a Child's Learning of an Instrument

I will not claim myself to be extremely experienced in the field of the child's development, but I would just like to share the observations that I have made over the past few years of teaching as well as some thoughts that I had during a discussion with my mother.

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Top 3 Observations I've Made

1. A parent has to practice with the child.

2. Encouragement, not scolding.

3. The parent who sits in the lesson has to be paying full attention, but not disruptive in interrupting the class.

Let's Zoom into Each of the 3 Observations I've Made

1. A parent has to practice with the child

A child won't practice on his own. Parents who tell me things like "he practices while I shower" do not make any sense to me. A child highly won't remember the mistakes that were being corrected in the lesson and a parent has to be there to guide the child during his practice. If there is no guidance, there will not be any visible progress. Such instances normally result in a drop out after an average of 5 months.

2. Encouragement, not scolding.

Behind every child who makes it far comes with a patient and encouraging parent. Parents have to encourage the child to practice, especially the younger ones. Picking up an instrument is not easy after all and it is common for the young children (4 to 5 years old) to tear a little. Scolding does not help but only worsens the situation. Words of encouragement such as "You can do it", "You are getting there", "Don't give up when you face setbacks" and more are some positive encouragement I have seen from some parents I have.

3. The parent who sits in the lesson has to be paying full attention, but not disruptive in interrupting the class.

For younger children, I normally encourage the parents to sit in the class to listen to what is happening. A responsible adult has to be there to be fully aware of what is going on and be able to help the child during his practice, like what is mentioned in point 1. Children will normally tend to look over to their parents for affirmation after they have completed a small phrase of music and it helps to see their parents watching them.

Personal Thoughts

Here are some my personal thoughts. A parent plays a very important role when a child picks up an instrument. It is not just a commitment of the child to practice, but lots of patience and resilience to travel to the teachers' place every week.

I am lucky to have parents who were by my side my music journey since young, sending me to classes weekly and accompanying me for practice. If you are a parent out there who finds it tiring, here is to encourage you that you are a really great parent and your efforts will be worth it!

-XJ